All Jokes

Displaying 10921-10927 of 10927 results.
Oct
19
2011

is it michael jackson


little boy : mummy is god a girl or a boy?

mummy: why god is both girl and boy

little boy: mummy is god black or white?

mummy: why god is both black and white

little boy: mummy is god gay or strait?

mummy: why god is both gay and strait

little boy: mummy is god Michael Jackson?

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
131 Likes
21 Dislikes
Rating :   17 Votes


Sep
26
2011

what women would do if they had a penis for a day


10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.

9. Get a blow job.

8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.

7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.

6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.

5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.

4. Touch yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem.

3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it
looks.

2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs
between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes
two inches to be added to the final measurement.

1. Repeat number 9......

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
68 Likes
4 Dislikes
Rating :   10 Votes


Oct
2
2011

what men would do if they had a vagina for a day


10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.

9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.

8. See if they could finally do the splits.

7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.

6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.

5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.

4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without
sleeping first.

3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on
video.

2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.

1. Finally find that damned G-spot.

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
60 Likes
4 Dislikes
Rating :   5 Votes


Sep
1
2011

the perfect day


The Perfect Day - Her

8:45 Wake up to hugs and kisses
9:00 5 lbs lighter on the scale
9:30 Light Breakfast
11:00 Sunbathe
12:30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
1:45 Shopping
2:30 Run into boyfriend's/husband's ex and notice she's gained 30 lbs
3:00 Facial, massage, nap
7:30 Candlelight dinner for two and dancing
10:00 Make love
11:30 Pillow talk in his big strong arms

The Perfect Day - Him

6:45 Alarm.
7:00 Shower and massage.
7:30 Blowjob.
7:45 Massive dump while reading USA Today sports section.
8:15 Limo arrives, Stoli Bloody Marys.
8:30 Butler Aviation, O'Hare Field, Lear Jet to Augusta, Georgia.
9:30 Front nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.
11:30 Lunch - 2 dozen oysters, 3 Heinekens.
12:30 Blowjob.
12:45 Back nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.
2:30 Limo to Augusta Airport, Bombay Sapphire Martini.
3:30 Nassau, Bahamas, Afternoon fishing with all female crew (topless). Sex
for each fish caught. Catch 1249 lb. Blue Marlin. Grilled tuna and steamed
lobster appetizers, six Heinekens, nap.
6:15 Blowjob.
6:30 Lear Jet return flight, total body massage in transit.
7:30 Shit, shower, shave.
8:00 Watch CNN Live coverage of Bill Clinton's resignation. Hillary and Al
Gore are indicted in the same scandal (which involves graphic pictures and
large farm animals).
9:00 Dinner at Ritz Carlton, Oysters Casino, 20 oz. Filet mignons (rare),
Gorgonzola salad, Fettucini Alfredo, Chateau Lafite Rothschild 1963 (magnum)
creme brute, Louis XII Cognac, Cohiba Lancero
10:30 Sex with 3 women, all from different countries
11:30 Whirlpool, steam and massage. Women quietly get dressed, hail cab and
leave. Midnight Blowjob. Sleep

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
79 Likes
9 Dislikes
Rating :   15 Votes


Oct
8
2011

Making Love To...


How can you tell if you're making love to a teacher,a nurse or an airline
stewardess?

A teacher says we got to do this over and over again til we get it right.

A nurse says hold still this won't hurt a bit.

And a airline stewardness says put this over your mouth and nose and breathe
normally.

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
72 Likes
3 Dislikes
Rating :   8 Votes


Nov
25
2011

Dead Pussy


An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of
her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead
pussy.

The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my
wife. You two have a lot in common.

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
135 Likes
3 Dislikes
Rating :   15 Votes


Oct
15
2011

Birds and Bees


A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter
walks in.

Mother, where do babies come from?

The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall
in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and
hug and have sex.

The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, That means the daddy puts
his penis in the mommys vagina. Thats how you get a baby, honey. The child
seems to comprehend.

Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddys penis
in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?

Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
393 Likes
13 Dislikes
Rating :   48 Votes