All Jokes

Displaying 10921-10928 of 10933 results.
Sep
5
2011

Off to Vegas


A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her
bags packed.

'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', said the man.

'I'm going to Las Vegas', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get $400 a
night for what I give you for free!

'The man said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come
back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand.

'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife.

The man said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on $800 a year!'

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
84 Likes
4 Dislikes
Rating :   13 Votes


Sep
14
2011

Daughters are curious~~~


A little girl walks into her parents' bathroom and notices for the First time,
her father's nakedness.

Immediately, she is curious: he has equipment that she doesn't have. She asks,
"What are those round things hanging there, daddy?"

Proudly, he replies, "Those, sweetheart, are God's Apples of Life.

Without them we wouldn't be here."

Puzzled, she seeks her mommy out and tells her what daddy has said.

To which mommy asks, "Did he say anything about the dead branch they're
hanging from?"

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
123 Likes
4 Dislikes
Rating :   10 Votes


Sep
18
2011

Newly wed couple


this newly wed couple were on there honey moon and where about to have sex:

wife: before we do this i have something i have to tell u.

husband: we're married now, u can tell me anything.

wife: i'm flat chested.

husband: i don't believe u..prove it.

So she takes off her shirt.

husband: holy shit i never seen a smaller chest, but i have something i have
to tell u too.

wife: we're married now u can tell me anything.

husband: im "weighed like a baby".

wife: i don't believe you, prove it.

So he takes off his pants.

wife: i thought u sayed u were weighed like a baby?!

husband: i am 6lbs 7ounces!

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
63 Likes
9 Dislikes
Rating :   4 Votes


Sep
8
2011

Tricked Him


One day this girl, who is wearing a skirt, goes out to play with her friends.

She goes to the park and meets a boy. They talk about climbing trees.

The boy says to the girl: "Go on climb that tree."

The girls climbs up and the boy just stands there and looks up to the girls
pants.

After a while the girl goes home and tells her mum about what happened.

Her mum says: "oh my stupid girl he just stood there and watched your pants."

The next day she went out again with her skirt on and met THAT boy again.

He told her to climb again and she did.

when she got home she tells her mum what happened again and her mum says: "My
stupid girl he just stood there and watched your pants."

The girl replied and said: "No actually I tricked him, this time i did not
wear any pants!"

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
143 Likes
4 Dislikes
Rating :   16 Votes


Oct
11
2011

Speeding


A blonde lady was driving along the highway when a blonde police officer
pulled her over for speeding.

Officer: May i see your licence?

Lady: what does it look like?

Officer: its a rectangular thing with a photo of you on it.

The lady looks through her bag and pulls out her compact mirror and hands it
to the officer.

The officer opens it up and says 'if you had told me you were a police officer
I wouldn't have pulled you over.'

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
80 Likes
7 Dislikes
Rating :   13 Votes


Oct
3
2011

16 years later


One day there was a pregnant women who was about to go into labor with 3
children.

Her husband didn't want to be any part of this so he decided to leave her and
took the car.

So she had to walk to the hospital all by herself. All of a sudden she came to
a dark alley and of course she went through it and all of a sudden a man pops
out and shoots her in the stomach.

When she got to the hospital she was ok and the babies were fine as well.

16 years later

16 years later the first child who was a girl came to the mother and said "mom
mom guess what?"

"What?"

I pissed out a bullet.

So the mother told her what happened 16 years ago.

Then the second born child who was also a girl came to her mother and said
"mom mom guess what I pissed out a bullet."

So the mom told her what happend 16 years ago.

Then the 3rd born child came in who was a boy said "mom mom guess what?"

The mom said "let me guess you pissed out a bullet."

"No i was jacking off and i shot the dog!"

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
77 Likes
3 Dislikes
Rating :   13 Votes


Oct
19
2011

is it michael jackson


little boy : mummy is god a girl or a boy?

mummy: why god is both girl and boy

little boy: mummy is god black or white?

mummy: why god is both black and white

little boy: mummy is god gay or strait?

mummy: why god is both gay and strait

little boy: mummy is god Michael Jackson?

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
131 Likes
21 Dislikes
Rating :   17 Votes


Sep
26
2011

what women would do if they had a penis for a day


10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.

9. Get a blow job.

8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.

7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.

6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.

5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.

4. Touch yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem.

3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it
looks.

2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs
between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes
two inches to be added to the final measurement.

1. Repeat number 9......

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
68 Likes
4 Dislikes
Rating :   10 Votes