Redneck Jokes

Displaying 33-40 of 50 results.
Sep
16
2011

Last Ditch Effort


Two football players were taking an important final exam.

If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in
the Sugar Bowl the following week.

The exam was fill-in-the-blank.

The last question read, "Old MacDonald had a _________."

Bubba was stumped. He had no idea of the answer. He knew he needed to get this
one right to be sure he passed.

Making sure the professor wasn't watching, he tapped Tiny on the shoulder.

"Pssst. Tiny. What's the answer to the last question?"

Tiny laughed. He looked around to make sure the professor hadn't noticed then
he turned to Bubba.

"Bubba, you're so stupid. Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a farm."

"Oh yeah," said Bubba. "I remember now."

He picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank.

He stopped. Reaching to tap Tiny's shoulder again, he whispered, "Tiny, how do
you spell farm?"

"You are really dumb, Bubba. That's so easy. Farm is spelled E-I-E-I-O."

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
51 Likes
2 Dislikes
Rating :   7 Votes


Oct
25
2011

Iowa Taxidermist in Alabama


This guy walks into a bar in Alabama and orders a white wine.

Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, surprised, and the bartender looks
around and says: "You ain't from around here, are ya... where ya from, boy?" <

The guy says, "I'm from Iowa."

The bartender asks, "What th' hell you do in Iowa?"

The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist."

The bartender asks, "A taxidermist... now just what th' hell is a
taxidermist?"

The guy says, "I mount animals."

The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's OK boys, he's one
of us!"

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
42 Likes
1 Dislikes
Rating :   7 Votes


Sep
9
2011

In Hot Pursuit


Two Alabama State Trooper Patrol cars were in hot pursuit of a Camaro heading
east towards Georgia on I-90.

When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the first trooper pulled over
immediately. The rookie Trooper pulled over right behind him and asked,
"Sarge, why'd you stop?"

"You dumb rookie," replied the Sarge. "He's in Georgia now. They're an hour
ahead of us, so we'll never catch him."

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
33 Likes
2 Dislikes
Rating :   4 Votes


Oct
4
2011

I Love You


English..... I Love You
Spanish..... Te Amo
French...... Je T'aime
German...... Ich Liebe Dich
Japanese.... Ai Shite Imasu
Italian..... Ti Amo

Redneck..... Nice Tits

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
839 Likes
263 Dislikes
Rating :   140 Votes


Sep
3
2011

Getting The Story Straight


When a man in Macon, Georgia came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy, he
quickly grabbed the animal and throttled it with his two hands.

A reporter saw the incident, congratulated the man and told him the headline
the following day would read, "Local Man Saves Child by Killing Vicious
Animal."

The hero, however, told the journalist that he wasn't from Macon.

"Well, then," the reporter said, "the headline will probably say, "Georgia Man
Saves Child by Killing Dog."

"Actually," the man said, "I'm from Connecticut."

"In that case," the reporter said in a huff, "the headline will read, "Yankee
Kills Family Pet."

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
23 Likes
0 Dislikes
Rating :   3 Votes


Dec
14
2011

Eucalyptus Road


Sue Ellen passed away so Billy Bob called 911. The operator promised to send
someone out immediately and asked him where he lived.

"Right at the end of Eucalyptus Road," Billy Bob replied.

"Could you spell that for me please?" the operator asked.

After a very lengthy pause Billy Bob said, "How 'bout I just drag her on over
to Pine Street and y'all can pick her up there?"

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
74 Likes
6 Dislikes
Rating :   9 Votes


Oct
10
2011

It's the way you say it


It's the way you say it...

A University of Georgia student was visiting a Yankee relative in Boston over
the holidays.

He went to a large party and met a pretty co-ed.

He was attempting to start up a conversation with the line, "Where does you go
to school?"

The coed, of course, was not overly impressed with his grammar or southern
drawl, but did answer his question.

"Yale," she replied.

The Georgia student took a big, deep breath and shouted, "WHERE DOES YOU GO TO
SCHOOL??"

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
30 Likes
0 Dislikes
Rating :   2 Votes


Aug
16
2011

Redneck Logic


Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they
should go to college to get ahead.

The first went in to see the counselor, who told him to take math, history,
and logic.

"What's logic?" the first redneck asked.

The professor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?"

"I sure do."

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.

"That's real good!" said the redneck.

The professor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard,
you also own a house."

Impressed, the redneck said, "Amazing!"

"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."

"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!"

The redneck was catching on.

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are
heterosexual," said the professor.

"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard!
I cain't wait to take that logic class!"

The redneck, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the
hallway where his friend was still waiting.

"So what classes are ya takin'?" asked the friend.

"Math, history, and logic!" replied the first redneck.

"What in tarnation is logic?" asked his friend.

"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed eater?" asked the first redneck.

"No," his friend replied.

"You're queer, ain't ya?"

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
124 Likes
14 Dislikes
Rating :   15 Votes