Redneck Jokes

Displaying 1-8 of 50 results.
Oct
25
2011

Iowa Taxidermist in Alabama


This guy walks into a bar in Alabama and orders a white wine.

Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, surprised, and the bartender looks
around and says: "You ain't from around here, are ya... where ya from, boy?" <

The guy says, "I'm from Iowa."

The bartender asks, "What th' hell you do in Iowa?"

The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist."

The bartender asks, "A taxidermist... now just what th' hell is a
taxidermist?"

The guy says, "I mount animals."

The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's OK boys, he's one
of us!"

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
42 Likes
1 Dislikes
Rating :   7 Votes


Oct
1
2011

The Redneck and The Gorilla


A small redneck Wild Animal Park had acquired a very rare species of gorilla.
Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very "in the mood", and
difficult to handle.

Upon examination, the park veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla
was in heat.

To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of the species available.

While reflecting on their problem, the park administrators noticed Ed, a part-
time redneck intern, responsible for cleaning the animals' cages.

Ed, like most rednecks, had little sense, but possessed ample ability to
satisfy a female of ANY species.

So, the park administrators thought they might have a solution.

Ed was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to have sex with the
gorilla for $500?

Ed showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over
carefully.

The following day, Ed announced that he would accept their offer, but only
under three conditions.

"First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her.

Secondly, you must never tell anyone about this."

The park administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what
was his third condition.

"Well," said Ed, "You gotta give me another week to come up with the $500."

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
34 Likes
0 Dislikes
Rating :   3 Votes


Jan
11
2012

My Pa Won't Like It


A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn.

The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, "Hey
Billy Bob, forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I'll help you get
the wagon up later."

"That's mighty nice of you," Billy Bob answered, "but I don't think my Pa
would like me to."

"Aw, come on boy," the farmer insisted.

"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but my Pa won't like it."

After a hearty dinner, Billy Bob thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now,
but I know my Pa is going to be real mad."

"Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is your
Pa?"

"Under the wagon."

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
43 Likes
4 Dislikes
Rating :   10 Votes


Oct
23
2011

Father and Son


One morning a boy got up and was leaving the house with a hand full of chicken
wire.

His father said, 'Son, where are you going?'

The son replied, 'I'm going to catch me some chickens.'

The father said, 'Son, you can't catch chickens with chicken wire.'

But the son insisted that he knew what he was doing.

Later on that day, the son came home with two chickens in his hand. The father
thought, 'I guess he knows what he's doing.'

The next morning, the son got up and was leaving the house with some duck
tape.

The father said, 'Son, where are you going?' The son replied, 'I'm going to
catch some ducks.'

The father yelled, 'You can't catch ducks with duck tape!'

The son insisted that he knew what he was doing. Later on that day the son
came home with two ducks under each arm.

The father thought, 'Shoot, I guess he does know what he's doing!'

The next morning the son got up and was leaving the house with a hand full of
pussywillows. The father said, 'Hold up, son, let me put on my shoes!'

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
73 Likes
3 Dislikes
Rating :   5 Votes


Jun
27
2016

Airport Par 3 Log Apni Biwiyon Ka Intezar


Airport Par 3 Log Apni Biwiyon Ka Intezar
Kar Rahe Thay..
Pathan - Hamari Shahzaadi Aa Rahi Hai
Sheikh - Hamari Nawabzaadi Aa Rahi Hai
After Thinking For Long..
.
Jokes padne vala- Hamari Bhi Haramzaadi Aa Rahi
Hai.....!
- By: DINESH SINSINWAR
MALASRAY VALE
Whats app no.8650888849
Dineshfaujdar1997@gmail.com

Submitted By : DINESH FAUJDAR
Place : GOVERDHAN MATHURA
12 Likes
0 Dislikes
Rating :   1 Votes


Jun
27
2016

Dinesh faujdar Ko Cinema Hall Ke Bahar Ek Bikhari


Dinesh faujdar Ko Cinema Hall Ke Bahar Ek Bikhari
Mila..
.
.
Bhikhari:" Allah Ke Naam Par Kuch De Do.. 2 Din
se Bhukha Hoon”
.
.
Dinesh 100 Ka Note Dikhate Hue Bola:" Kya
Tumhare Paas 50 Ka Note Hai ??
.
.
Bhikhari Khushi Se:" Ji Haan”
.
.
.
Dinesh" To Saale, Pehle Woh Jake Kharch Kar
Na“ ;-d :-F
- By: DINESH FAUJDAR SINSINWAR
GOVERDHAN vale
Whats app no.8650888849
Dineshfaujdar1997@gmail.com

Submitted By : DINESH FAUJDAR
Place : GOVERDHAN MATHURA
11 Likes
0 Dislikes
Rating :   1 Votes


Sep
3
2011

Getting The Story Straight


When a man in Macon, Georgia came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy, he
quickly grabbed the animal and throttled it with his two hands.

A reporter saw the incident, congratulated the man and told him the headline
the following day would read, "Local Man Saves Child by Killing Vicious
Animal."

The hero, however, told the journalist that he wasn't from Macon.

"Well, then," the reporter said, "the headline will probably say, "Georgia Man
Saves Child by Killing Dog."

"Actually," the man said, "I'm from Connecticut."

"In that case," the reporter said in a huff, "the headline will read, "Yankee
Kills Family Pet."

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
23 Likes
0 Dislikes
Rating :   3 Votes


Nov
5
2011

New Rooster


An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster for his hens. The
current rooster was still doing an okay job, but he was getting on in years
and the farmer figured getting a new rooster couldn't hurt.

So he buys a new cock from the local rooster emporium, and turns him loose in
the barnyard.

Well, the old rooster sees the young one strutting around and he's a little
worried. So, they're trying to replace me, thinks the old rooster- I've got to
do something about this! He walks up to the new bird and says, 'So you're the
new stud in town?

I bet you really think you're hot stuff don't you? Well I'm not ready for the
chopping block yet.

I'll bet I'm still the better bird. And to prove it, I challenge you to a race
around that hen house over there.

We'll run around it ten times and whoever finishes first gets to have all the
hens for himself.'

Well, the young rooster was a proud sort, and he definately thought he was
more than a match for the old guy.

'You're on', he said, 'and since I'm so great, I'll even give you a head start
of half a lap. I'll still win easy!'

So the two roosters go over to the henhouse to start the race with all the
hens gathering to watch. The race begins and all the hens start cheering the
old rooster on.

After the first lap, the old rooster is still maintaining his lead. After the
second lap, the old guy's lead has slipped a little- but he's still hanging in
there.

Unfortunately, the old rooster's lead continues to slip each time around, and
by the fifth lap he's just barely in front of the young fella.

By now the farmer has heard the commotion. He runs into the house, gets his
shotgun and runs into the barnyard figuring a fox or something is after his
chickens.

When he gets there, he sees the two roosters running around the henhouse, with
the old rooster still slightly in the lead.

He immediately takes his shotgun, aims, fires, and blows the young rooster
away.

As he walks away slowly, he says to himself.....

'Damn, that's the third gay rooster I've bought this month.'

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
33 Likes
1 Dislikes
Rating :   2 Votes