Redneck Jokes

Displaying 1-8 of 50 results.
Jan
16
2012

Dat Ain't Bubba


Bubba got drunk and died in a fire in his trailer. He was so badly burned that
the morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they called his two buddies
Jim-Bob and Billy-Joe to I.D. him.

Jim-Bob went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. "Yep, he's got burned
up purdy bad. Roll 'im over," said Jim-Bob. The mortician rolled him over,
Jim-Bob looked at his butt and said, "Nope, dat ain't Bubba."

Not saying anything, but finding it a bit strange, the mortician brought in
Billy-Joe to I.D. the body. "Yep, he's burned up real bad. Roll 'im over,"
said Billy-Joe. The mortician rolled him over, Billy-Joe looked down at his
butt and said, "Dat ain't Bubba."

"How can you tell?" asked the mortician.

"Cause Bubba had two assholes," replied Billy-Joe. "Two assholes? That's
impossible!" said the mortician.

"Yep. Everyone in town knowed Bubba had two assholes, cause every time the
three of us went to town, everyone would yell, 'here comes Bubba with them two
assholes!"

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
127 Likes
24 Dislikes
Rating :   31 Votes


Oct
16
2014

Tum Ladki K Peeche Bhagoge


Tum Ladki K Peeche Bhagoge...
.
.
.
Ladki Paisa Lekar Bhagegi...
.
.
.
Tum Mere Peeche Bhagoge...
.
.
.
Ladki Tumhare Peeche Bhagegi... .
.
.

By:- (D.D)

Submitted By : Deepak Dubey
Place : New Delhi
8 Likes
3 Dislikes
Rating :   3 Votes


Aug
16
2011

A Redneck Christmas


You know you're a redneck if you do all of your Christmas shopping at a truck
stop!

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
29 Likes
5 Dislikes
Rating :   3 Votes


Nov
26
2011

Redneck and a Trailer


Q: What does a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common?
A: Somebody's gonna lose a trailer!

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
187 Likes
32 Dislikes
Rating :   23 Votes


Dec
14
2011

A Rock Solid Defense


A redneck was arrested for selling home-stilled whiskey.

His lawyer put him on the stand and asked the jurors to look carefully at his
client.

"Now, Ladies and Gentleman of the jury," concluded the lawyer, "you've looked
carefully at the defendant. Can you sit there in the jury box and honestly
believe that if my client had ANY whiskey he would sell it?"

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
21 Likes
1 Dislikes
Rating :   2 Votes


Dec
7
2011

The Toilet Brush


Tom, Dick and Harry were in the pub enjoying a few quiet drinks one night,
when they decided to get in on the weekly raffle.

They bought five $1 tickets each, seeing it was for charity.

The following week, when the raffle was drawn, they each won a prize.

Tom won the first prize - a whole year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce.

Dick was the winner of the second prize - six month's supply of extra-long
gourmet spaghetti.

And Harry won the sixth prize - a toilet brush.

When they met in the pub a week later, Harry asked the others how they were
enjoying their prizes.

"Great," said Tom. "I love spaghetti."

"So do I," said Dick. "And how's the toilet brush, Harry?"

"Not so good," Harry said, "I reckon I'll go back to paper..."

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
36 Likes
1 Dislikes
Rating :   7 Votes


Dec
18
2011

One for the Volunteers


Tennessee folks make fun of their northern Virginian neighbors with this quip:

You know why birds fly upside down over Scott County, Virginia?

"Cause there ain't nothin' worth shittin' on up there!"

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
35 Likes
3 Dislikes
Rating :   5 Votes


Nov
2
2011

Redneck At The Bar


A bartender was washing glasses one afternoon when an elderly Irishman came
in.

With great difficulty, the Irishman hoisted his bad leg over the barstool,
pulled himself up painfully, and asked for a sip of Irish whiskey.

The Irishman looked down the bar and said, "Is that Jesus down there?" The
bartender nodded, so the Irishman told him to give Jesus an Irish whiskey,
too.

The next patron to come in was an ailing Italian with a hunched back, who
moved very slowly.

He shuffled up to the barstool and asked for a glass of Chianti.

He also looked down the bar and asked if that was Jesus sitting at the end of
the bar.

The bartender nodded, so the Italian said to give Him a glass of Chianti, too.

The third patron to enter the bar was a redneck, who swaggered into the bar
and hollered, "Barkeep, set me up a cold one! Hey, is that God's Boy down
there?"

The barkeep nodded, so the redneck told him to give Jesus a cold one, too.

As Jesus got up to leave, he walked over to the Irishman and touched him and
said, "For your kindness, you are healed!"

The Irishman felt the strength come back to his leg, so he got up and danced a
jig out the door.

Jesus touched the Italian and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!"

The Italian felt his back straighten, so he raised his hands above his head
and did a flip out the door.

Jesus walked toward the redneck, but the redneck jumped back and exclaimed,
"Don't touch me! I'm drawing disability!"

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
38 Likes
1 Dislikes
Rating :   5 Votes