Redneck Jokes

Displaying 1-8 of 50 results.
Sep
25
2011

Naming the Twins


A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when
his car went out of control and crashed.

Regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless practical joker,
sitting at his bed side.

He asked his brother how his wife was doing and his brother said, "Don't
worry, everybody is fine and you have a son and a daughter.

But the hospital was in a real hurry to
get the birth certificates filed and since both you and your wife were
unconscious, I named them for you."

The husband was thinking to himself, "Oh no, what has he done now?" and asked
with some trepidation, "Well, bro, what did you name them?"

Whereupon, his brother replied, "I named the little girl Denise."

The husband, relieved, said, "That's a lovely name! And what did you come up
with for my son?"

The brother winked and replied, "Denephew."

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
56 Likes
2 Dislikes
Rating :   6 Votes


Jun
27
2016

Dinesh faujdar Ko Cinema Hall Ke Bahar Ek Bikhari


Dinesh faujdar Ko Cinema Hall Ke Bahar Ek Bikhari
Mila..
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Bhikhari:" Allah Ke Naam Par Kuch De Do.. 2 Din
se Bhukha Hoon”
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Dinesh 100 Ka Note Dikhate Hue Bola:" Kya
Tumhare Paas 50 Ka Note Hai ??
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Bhikhari Khushi Se:" Ji Haan”
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Dinesh" To Saale, Pehle Woh Jake Kharch Kar
Na“ ;-d :-F
- By: DINESH FAUJDAR SINSINWAR
GOVERDHAN vale
Whats app no.8650888849
Dineshfaujdar1997@gmail.com

Submitted By : DINESH FAUJDAR
Place : GOVERDHAN MATHURA
12 Likes
0 Dislikes
Rating :   1 Votes


Nov
20
2011

Redneck Dating practice


You might be a redneck if you go to your family reunion to meet women!

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
24 Likes
2 Dislikes
Rating :   1 Votes


Jun
27
2016

Naresh Samundar Me Dahi Dal Raha


Naresh Samundar Me Dahi Dal Raha
Tha..
Dinesh - Kya Kar Raha Hai..?
Naresh - Lassi Bana Raha Hu
Dinesh - Teri Isi Harkato Se Log Hum
Pe Haste Hain
Ab Itni Lassi Kaun Piyega Be......?
- By: DINESH FAUJDAR
MALASRAY VALE
Whats app no.8650888849
Dineshfaujdar1997@gmail.com

Submitted By : DINESH FAUJDAR
Place : GOVERDHAN MATHURA
12 Likes
0 Dislikes
Rating :   2 Votes


Nov
27
2011

Southern Comments


Exclamations:

"Well knock me down and steal muh teeth!"

"Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit."

Threats:

"I'll slap you so hard, your clothes will be outtastyle."

"This'll jar your preserves."

"Don't you be makin' me open a can o' whoop-ass on ya!"

Good Things/Compliments:

"Cute as a sack full of puppies."

"If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it."

"Gooder than grits."

The Weather:

"It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs."

"It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch."

Wintry roads are said to be "slicker than otter snot."

Descriptions:

A bothersome person is "like a booger that you can't thump off."

When something is bad then you say, "that ain't no count."

If something is hard to do, it's "like trying to herd cats."

"He ran like his feet was on fire and his ass was catchin."

A hectic schedule keeps you "Busier than a cat covering crap on a marble
floor."

Insults:

"She's uglier than homemade soap."

"Your momma's so fat, when she stepped up on the scale to be weighed, it said
'To be continued.'"

"He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down."

"Uglier than a lard bucket full of armpits."

"The wheels still turning, but the hamsters dead"

Any insulting statement is always followed by "bless his/her heart."

Example: "She's dumber than a door knob, bless her heart."

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
55 Likes
1 Dislikes
Rating :   6 Votes


Oct
10
2011

It's the way you say it


It's the way you say it...

A University of Georgia student was visiting a Yankee relative in Boston over
the holidays.

He went to a large party and met a pretty co-ed.

He was attempting to start up a conversation with the line, "Where does you go
to school?"

The coed, of course, was not overly impressed with his grammar or southern
drawl, but did answer his question.

"Yale," she replied.

The Georgia student took a big, deep breath and shouted, "WHERE DOES YOU GO TO
SCHOOL??"

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
30 Likes
0 Dislikes
Rating :   2 Votes


Sep
9
2011

In Hot Pursuit


Two Alabama State Trooper Patrol cars were in hot pursuit of a Camaro heading
east towards Georgia on I-90.

When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the first trooper pulled over
immediately. The rookie Trooper pulled over right behind him and asked,
"Sarge, why'd you stop?"

"You dumb rookie," replied the Sarge. "He's in Georgia now. They're an hour
ahead of us, so we'll never catch him."

Submitted By : SmsFunBook Team
33 Likes
2 Dislikes
Rating :   4 Votes


Jun
16
2014

appna dunia ka sabsa batsurat ugly insan kon ha


appna dunia ka sabsa batsurat (ugly) insan kon ha

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socho buddho
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ans:mirror nahi dekha kiya

Submitted By : nitin
Place : meerut
11 Likes
14 Dislikes
Rating :   3 Votes