Lawyer Jokes

Displaying 1-8 of 53 results.
Jun
11
2015

Dosti k baad mohabbat ho


Dosti k baad mohabbat ho
sakti hai..
Lekin mohabbat k baad dosti
nahi ho sakti.
.
.
Kyunki
.
.
Dawa maut se pehle asar karti
hai,
Maut k baad nahi..
.
Agree?? = Hit Like
By - www.NewSMS.net

Submitted By : Amit Sahu
Place : raipur
31 Likes
3 Dislikes
Rating :   7 Votes


Jun
11
2015

Old But True


Old But True..,
Har Ladki Ki Life Me Ek Aisa Ladka Hota Hai Jise
Wo Bhula Nahi Sakti..
.
.
.
Aur
.
.
.
Har Ladke Ki Life Me Ek Aisi Ladki Hoti Hai Jise
Wo Paa Nahi Sakta !
Agree??
By - www.NewSMS.net

Submitted By : Amit Sahu
Place : raipur
17 Likes
1 Dislikes
Rating :   5 Votes


Mar
1
2015

Odar


Odar..
Odar ...

Tamam gavaho
sabuto ke madde
najar rakhate hue
adalat
is natije par pahuchi
hai ki
01-01-2016 ko
apko our apke poore
pariwar nav warsh ki dheron badhai our
subhkaneye dene ki hukm
sunati hai

Submitted By : Rama Shankar Patel
Place : pratap garh
24 Likes
11 Dislikes
Rating :   19 Votes


Feb
18
2015

Judge Order Order Order


Judge: Order! Order! Order!

Santa: One pizza , One burger, One samaso please. Get it fast !

Judge:Shut up .

Banta: No shut up !Only seven up.

Submitted By : AKHIL MUDGIL
Place : gurgaon haryana
17 Likes
2 Dislikes
Rating :   4 Votes


Dec
12
2014

Khuda ki rehmat sare sansar par barse


Khuda ki rehmat sare sansar par barse,
mere hise ki rahmt mere yaar par barse,
ae khuda muje kar dena pani
agar mera yaar kabhi pyaas ko tarse.

Submitted By : nikky yadav
Place : agra
17 Likes
2 Dislikes
Rating :   2 Votes


Aug
13
2014

A First Class Magistrate FCM is going thru a


A First Class Magistrate (FCM) is going thru' a forest one evening when his car breaks down. He looks around and finds a lone house. He knocks the door which is opened by a stunning woman.

FCM: Can I spend the night at your place?

Woman: Well. I live alone.

FCM: I'm an honourable man, a FCM.

Woman: I got only one bed.

FCM: No problem. I'm an honourable man, a FCM.

Woman: I go to bed naked.

FCM: No problem. I'm an honourable man, a FCM.

Woman: Be my guest, FCM.

Next morning while leaving, FCM finds the woman busy with her poultry.

FCM: Good birds you got there.

Woman: Yeah.

FCM: How many cocks and how many hens?

Woman: Two hundred hens, one cock.

FCM: But I can see over a dozen cocks around.

Woman: Only one cock over there. The others are first class magistrates.

Submitted By : aarav singh
Place : new delhi
13 Likes
3 Dislikes
Rating :   5 Votes


Aug
13
2014

While walking through a courthouse a kid enters


While walking through a courthouse, a kid enters an empty courtroom.

He sees a fine leather briefcase (the kind the lawyers carry) sitting on the table, picks it up and exits through the back door of the courtroom into the judge's chambers.

And who should be sitting there; the judge.

Judge: Hey kid, are you familiar with the liquor store across the street from the courthouse?

Kid: (nods).

Judge: Good, I want you to go across the street and steal me a bottle of booze.

The kid runs across the street, enters the liquor store, and when the proprietor is not looking, slips a fifth into the briefcase and brings it back to the judge.

The judge immediately opens the bottle and swigs half of it.

Judge: Hey kid, I need you to run another errand. There's a contractor, Slapdash Construction, next to the liquor store. Go to them and tell them that the judge sent you. They'll give you a brown paper bag. Bring it back to me.

The kid runs to Slapdash Construction, tells them that the judge sent him, receives a brown paper bag filled with fifties and hundreds, puts it into the briefcase and takes it to the judge.

Judge: Kid, you did great. Now unzip my fly.

The kid unzips the judge's fly.

Judge: Now suck my dick!

Kid: Hey wait a minute mister. I'm not a real attorney; I just found this briefcase in the courtroom!

Submitted By : aarav singh
Place : new delhi
13 Likes
3 Dislikes
Rating :   5 Votes


Aug
13
2014

Top ten things that sound dirty but in a Law


Top ten things that sound dirty, but in a Law firm are not:

10. Have you looked through her briefs?

9. He is one hard judge.

8. Counselor, let's do it in chambers.

7. Her attorney withdrew at the last minute.

6. Is it a penal offense?

5. Better leave the handcuffs on.

4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!

3. Can you get him to drop his suit?

2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.

And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty but in law isn't...

1. Think you can get me off?

Submitted By : aarav singh
Place : new delhi
15 Likes
3 Dislikes
Rating :   4 Votes