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Husband Vs Wife

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Jun
4
2015

Funny stuff


Husband : व्रत है ??
Wife : हाँ जी

Husband : कुछ खाया ?
Wife : हाँ जी

Husband : क्या ?
Wife : केला,सेव,अनार ,मूंगफली, फ्रूट क्रीम, आलू की
टिक्की, साबूदाने की खीर, साबूदाने के पापड़, कुट्टू की पूरी,
सावंख के चावल, सिंघाड़े का आटे का हलवा, खीरा, सुबह-सुबह
चाय और अब जूस पी रही हूँ।
.
.
Husband- बहुत सख्त व्रत रख रही हो, यह हर किसी के
बस का कहाँ है। और कुछ खाने की इच्छा है ? देखलो कहीं
कमज़ोरी न आ जाए।

Submitted By : aayush
Place : New Delhi
97 Likes
3 Dislikes
Rating :   88 Votes


Jun
4
2015

Funny stuff


बेचारा पति!

पत्नी को किसी किटी पार्टी में जाना था तो उसने अपने पति से पूछा, "सुनो जी मैं कौन सी साड़ी पहनूं? ये नीली वाली या लाल वाली?

पति: नीली वाली पहन लो।

पत्नी: लेकिन नीली वाली तो मैंने परसो भी पहनी थी।

पति: अच्छा तो फिर लाल ही पहन लो।

पत्नी: अच्छा अब यह बताओ, लाल साड़ी के साथ सैंडल कौन से अच्छे लगेंगे? ये फूल वाले या प्लेन?

पति: प्लेन वाले।

पत्नी: अरे मैं पार्टी में जा रही हूँ, किसी कथा में नहीं। थोड़ी तड़क -भड़क तो दिखनी चाहिए ना।

पति: ताे ठीक है फूल वाले पहन लो।

पत्नी: अच्छा बिंदी कौन सी अच्छी लगेगी? ओवल या ये बड़ी या ये छोटी सी?

पति: मेरे ख्याल से तो ओवल ठीक रहेगी।

पत्नी: तुम्हें फैशन का जरा भी आइडिया नहीं है। मैंने जो साड़ी पहनी है ना, उसके साथ तो ये छोटी ही अच्छी लगेगी।

पति: तो ठीक है, छोटी बिंदी ही लगा लो।

पत्नी: अच्छा, पर्स कौन सा जमेगा? यह क्लच या बड़ा हैंडबैग।

पति: क्लच ले लो।

पत्नी: अाजकल तो बड़े हैंडबैग का फैशन है।

पति: ताे अरे बाबा, वही ले जाओ, मुझे क्या करना है। बस पार्टी को एंजॉय करना।

पत्नी जब पार्टी से लौटकर आई तो बड़े गुस्से में थी।

पति: अरे क्या हुआ?

पत्नी: तुम एक भी काम ढंग से नहीं कर सकते क्या?

पति: क्यों मैंने क्या गलत कर दिया?

पत्नी: पार्टी में सब मेरा मजाक उड़ा रहे थे कि कैसी साड़ी पहनकर आ गई, कैसी बिंदी लगाई है, पर्स और सैंडल पर भी कमेंट पास कर रहे थे।

पति: तो इसमें मेरा क्या दोष है?

पत्नी: सब मैंने तुमसे ही पूछ कर किया था न? ढंग से नहीं बता सकते थे क्या? इससे तो अच्छा था कि मैं खुद ही डिसाइड कर लेती।

Submitted By : aayush
Place : New Delhi
70 Likes
3 Dislikes
Rating :   60 Votes


Jun
3
2015
Wife angrily- I dont believe this u forgot my


Wife (angrily)- I don’t believe this… u forgot my birthday again?? How can you do this..

Husband- how can you expect me to remember your birthday when u never look older..

Wife(clear her throat and smile) jaanu Sacchi

Husband in his mind (sahi time pe dialogue aa gya beta…warna khatam tha tu aaj..

Submitted By : aayush
Place : New Delhi
57 Likes
1 Dislikes
Rating :   48 Votes


Jun
3
2015

Nicee stuff


Wife (angrily)- I don’t believe this… u forgot my birthday again?? How can you do this..

Husband- how can you expect me to remember your birthday when u never look older..

Wife(clear her throat and smile)jaanu Sacchi

Husband in his mind (sahi time pe dialogue aa gya beta…warna khatam tha tu aaj..

Submitted By : aayush
Place : New Delhi
69 Likes
2 Dislikes
Rating :   61 Votes


Jun
7
2015
once upon a time there was a man who was very


once upon a time there was a man who was very comedian,he was living a small village one day he married a girl,at night he wanted to have a sex with his new wife saw an ugly woman he said i will come back tomorrow
he came back
wife: honey i want to see your brothers so as to introduce my self.
husband:yes you are right but don't try to appear your face to me but my brothers you can appear.

Submitted By : Hudeif
Place : Mogadishu
7 Likes
2 Dislikes
Rating :   1 Votes


Jan
5
2015
Wife Shadi Ke Certificate Mein Kya Dhundh Rahe


Wife: Shadi Ke Certificate Mein Kya Dhundh Rahe Ho? Husband: Expiry Date..!!

Submitted By : Rama Shankar Patel
Place : pratap garh
10 Likes
0 Dislikes
Rating :   3 Votes


May
21
2015
Ways To Make Your Husband Love You More


Ways To Make Your Husband Love You More


1. Discover his favorite pet name and call him by that.
2. Allow him exercise his authority as the head of the family.
3. Do not challenge him when he is hurt.
4. Be silent when he is angry. You can go back to him in his sober moment with apology and explain why you behave
that way that annoyed him.
5. Be quick to say ” I am sorry dear”. Whenever you offend him, insist on his forgiveness and kiss him when he does.
6. Speak good of him before his friends and siblings.
7. Honour his mother.
8. Insist that he buys gift to his parents and so be sure that he will do same for your parents
9. Surprise him with his favorite dish especially when he has no enough money at hand
10. Do not allow maid to serve him food when you are at home, because you may lose him to them.
11. Give him warm reception with an embrace when he returns, collect his luggage and help UnCloth him.
12. Smile when u looks at him and give him occasional perks when you are out socially.
13. Praise him before your children.
14. Wash his back while he is in the tub or shower.
15. Put love note in his lunch or purse.
16. Phone and tell him that you miss him.
17. Dial his number and on hearing “hello” just tell him I love you
18. If he is a public figure or politician, gently wake him at
the early hours of the morning and romance him to the point of demand.
He will not be enticed by any other woman that day.
19. Tell him how lucky you are to have him as your husband.
20. Give him a hug for no reason.
21. Appreciate God for the Adam of your life. Implement this law that every morning your family will wake up n pray.
It brings unit. Value your husband because you may not have the second chance to love him. Pray to God to protect him.
If you practice all these, your husband will be afraid to cheat
on you, even if he does his mind will not be at rest.
If your husband is already cheating on you, begin to practice these and u will win him back

Submitted By : Vinil Ghag
Place : Mumbai
14 Likes
1 Dislikes
Rating :   5 Votes


May
16
2015
Some Things Women Want Their Husbands To Know


Some Things Women Want Their Husbands To Know

Some Things Women Want Their Husbands To Know

Apr 10, 20151
There are times when women really wish that their husbands could understand what is going on in their minds. Agreed, that understanding women is not easy, but putting an effort to know them is always appreciated. Women love it when men understand them. So, read on to know what every woman wishes her man knew about her.

1. Remembering the special days

Guys, there is no harm in remembering the special days and giving a special treatment to your lady love. They will simply love it, if you go an extra mile to make them feel special. Birthdays, anniversaries, or any other important date might not be a big deal for you but for women it definitely is.

2.
Tag along for shopping

It is a universal truth that women love to shop. No matter what the occasion is, shopping brings true happiness to a woman. And, what adds to this happiness is when her husband accompanies her. So, instead of avoiding your wife during her shopping spree, accompany her and help her. She is surely going to give you some ‘brownie’ points once you two are back home after shopping.

3. Friends matter

If your wife can gel well with your buddies, so why can’t you? For women, their friends are like a second family. Their opinion matters the most to them. So, respect her friends or at least try to be nice to them.

4. Be honest and don’t lie

No matter how many affairs you have had or how many misdeeds you have done in the past, just spill out all in front of your girl. They can tolerate and ignore anything but lie. Lying makes them feel that you do not trust them enough to tell the truth.

5. Be emotionally available

Women want their husbands to be their emotional anchor, someone they can count on when they are wrecked emotionally. So, don’t behave like you do not care about her and that she is going to be fine by herself. Listen, understand and be on her side, just the way she does when you are in trouble.

6. Be fair and square

Rules should be applicable to all and sundry. If you do not want your girl to talk to someone or do not want them to hang out with someone in particular, then apply the same rule on yourself too. An unbiased attitude is the key to a happy relationship

Submitted By : Vinil Ghag
Place : Mumbai
11 Likes
0 Dislikes
Rating :   6 Votes